Offer nonverbal cues that you’re listening - but only if it comes naturally to you.Įye contact, attentive posture, nodding and other nonverbal cues are important, but it’s hard to pay attention to someone’s words when you’re busy reminding yourself to make regular eye contact. Use this tool only when you need to check your own comprehension - and say, explicitly, “I’m going to put this in my own words to make sure I understand.” 3. Rephrasing what your interlocutor has said, however, can increase both emotional friction and the mental load on both parties. Multiple studies have shown that direct repetition works, even though it may feel unnatural. Don’t “put it in your own words” unless you need to. It makes the other person feel listened to, keeps you on track during the conversation, and provides a pause for both of you to gather thoughts or recover from an emotional reaction. If you remember nothing else, remember this simple practice that does so much. Repeat people’s last few words back to them. Here’s a “cheat sheet” with nine helpful tips: 1. However, even minor improvements can make a big difference in your listening effectiveness.
Getting good at active listening is a lifetime endeavor. Behavioral: Conveying interest and comprehension verbally and nonverbally.Emotional: Staying calm and compassionate during the conversation, including managing any emotional reactions (annoyance, boredom) you might experience.Cognitive: Paying attention to all the information, both explicit and implicit, that you are receiving from the other person, comprehending, and integrating that information.This is “active listening.” It has three aspects: If people do not feel listened to, they will cease to share information. This second goal is not “merely” for the sake of kindness, which would be reason enough. Becoming a Better ListenerĪ participant in any conversation has two goals: first, to understand what the other person is communicating (both the overt meaning and the emotion behind it) and second, to convey interest, engagement, and caring to the other person. Our aims are to increase your understanding of what good listening is, and offer research-backed advice to improve your listening skills. Reading this article won’t turn you into a champion listener any more than reading an article on balance will turn you into Simone Biles. Listening well is the kind of skill that benefits from not just teaching but coaching - ongoing, specialized instruction from someone who knows your personal strengths, weaknesses, and most importantly, habits. A 2015 study showed that while 78% of accredited undergraduate business schools list “presenting” as a learning goal, only 11% identified “listening.” While listening is a skill universally lauded, it’s rarely, if ever, explicitly taught as such, outside of training for therapists. And given that the highest rates of turnover are among top performers who can take clients and projects with them, and the frontline employees responsible for the customer experience, the risk is clear. Employers who fail to listen and thoughtfully respond to their people’s concerns will see greater turnover. Job switching is rampant, and remote work means we don’t get the nonverbal cues we’d pick up from an in-person conversation. It’s never been more important - or more difficult - for leaders to be good listeners.
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